Los Angeles Or Bust

Here’s a breakdown of what you should do once you take the plunge and move to Los Angeles:

TRANSPORTATION:

• Get a reliable car. Doesn’t have to be fancy, but make sure you car runs smoothly.  You don’t want to break down on an LA freeway/highway. Don’t worry about pulling up to a fancy restaurant in your car. If it runs fine, great.  You’ll get your Maserati once you sell your 3rd movie, do a national commercial, have a best selling comedy DVD, or when your second album goes platinum.  Until then, join the sea of Honda Civics (No Toyotas please).  Also, if you’re going to be an assistant of any sort, you’ll be running a lot of errands in YOUR CAR.  One caveat, if you are a background actor aka EXTRA, do not let them use your car and/or YOU in ANY stunts, no matter what (it’s a few bucks a day extra).  You might think it’s great exposure, but the risk is not worth the reward.   http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/5764970/extra_for_transformers_3_in_coma_after.html?cat=40.
• Register your car with DMV. If you don’t do this and you get pulled over, it can be a really big ticket.
• Get a California Driver’s License. Study the handbook. Skip the Westside DMV’s and pick one further out so you don’t have to wait in the giant lines due to government furloughs. Wed and Fridays are usu. furloughed.
• Get a Thomas Guide or other Map of LA. Your GPS is going to be hit or miss in this town.  Learn the fastest ways to get to places where you’ll have meetings (Hollywood, Beverly Hills, Century City, Santa Monica, Universal City, Burbank, Studio City)
• Learn to accept valet parking. Lots of outsiders think it’s weird that all these strangers are in and out of their cars all day. Valet is a part of LA life, so accept it.  Tip them well and they’ll remember you next time and park your car in a nice spot.  Just don’t leave valuables in the car.
• Have Quarters. No, not the drinking game, I mean cash.  LA is way behind other cities in terms of infrastructure, so when you hit the Southland, go over to a bank, get $50 in quarters and keep half of that in the car somewhere.  You will need it to feed meters until LA joins places like Seattle and has electronic, credit/debit card payment systems for street parking.  Plus, you’ll need those quarters for laundry.  Some areas are converting to stand-alone parking kiosks (Studio City is one), which means they’ll take a credit card.  (BTW, gas stations and mini-marts are stingy about making change. The max they’ll do is $1 if at all.)  If a holiday is coming up and you’re sans quarters, you’re screwed.
• Pay attention to street signs. Carefully read street signs when parking.  Check up and down the street from where you parked and make sure they aren’t cleaning the street, permits are required, or they’ve changed the restrictions since you parked there last.
• Heads up driving.  Don’t be afraid of driving here, just conquer your fears and hit the road. Practice driving on days and times when it doesn’t matter.  If you know you’re going to have a meeting on Friday in Burbank.  Drive out to Burbank on Wed at the same time as your meeting and see how long it really takes.  You will have an accident at some point. Just don’t freak out.  In LA, a non-injury car accident will not be responded to by LAPD or Highway Patrol.  So don’t wait around for a police report. Just get the driver’s name, address, phone number, email, model, make, driver’s license $, license plate #, and insurance carrier.
• Bluetooth. Get a bluetooth headset or have it installed in your car.  You will use the car to multi-task, but be safe about it.  Handsfree with voice dialing is ideal so you can take meetings, chat with clients/buyers, do an interview, work on jokes with your buddies, give notes on scripts, whatever.  Also, you can free yourself up to take notes while on the phone.
• Walking in LA. Contrary to the Missing Persons song, people do walk here, especially since gas is so freaking expensive.  You’ll see folks on foot in Hollywood, West Hollywood, Venice, Santa Monica, and Pasadena.  If you’re going to walk, you have to be heads up.  Drivers tend to not care or notice that you and possibly your four-legged friend are crossing at a crosswalk.  We’ve actually heard the sound of metal on bone, and you don’t wanna be on the receiving end of that one.  Don’t crank that iPod all the way up, so you can here oncoming traffic.  It’s also very hot at times, so if you’re going to walk, make sure you have water with you or know where you can get it (have cash, cause a lot of bodegas are cash only).  See note on Sunscreen as well.

HOUSING:

• Explore your housing options. LA is really expensive for housing.  Every area of town is different.  Craigslist is a good start, as is Westside Rentals, but the best way to find your dream apartment is to walk/drive around neighborhoods and write down the address and phone numbers of the places you like.  If you have pets, it’s much harder to find a place that will accommodate you, so be up front about your needs.  Some areas of town are better for networking in the entertainment business, while others are more “normal,” “working class,” “richy rich,” or ethnically homogenous.  You will move a lot in LA based on jobs, changing priorities/lifestyles, and money, so don’t worry.  A great way to reduce your rent is to live with others who are trying to do the same thing as you. It’s not uncommon in LA (or in other creative/artistic cities) to see 4-5 musicians, writers, actors, producers, directors, models, comedians, athletes, etc, living together to save money and build a network of allies.
• Get a local number and a smartphone (Blackberry/iPhone/Android). Try to get a fresh number aka a number that has not been in use before.   Many people in LA have serious financial issues and have collections companies chasing them down. My number has no less than 4 people who are delinquent in some sort of payment.  Most of my calls are for them. Doh.
• Internet. You’re going to need it to research everything in your new city, including places to eat, drink, take meetings, and find out stuff about who you’re meeting with.  Catch-22. You need internet to get internet set-up in your place.  The trick, now that Starbucks has free wi-fi, go straight to your closest one, and set-up all your important services from there. Don’t waste your time trying to get onto a neighbor’s unprotected wi-fi network. Check out http://www.whitefence.com/.
• Get cable/satellite TV if you can afford it. Esp if you want to be a writer, you’ll want a DVR to record your favorite shows so you can pause, rewind, etc to break em down.  Time Warner sucks.  Try Direct TV.  Can’t afford, rely on Netflix, Hulu, Youtube. Once again, check out http://www.whitefence.com/.

HEALTH:

• Wear Sunscreen. You can get a sunburn just sitting in your car on the 405 or walking down Melreose.  Plus, with all the high UV rays from the pollution/smog and tons of sunny days, you need to be careful. We see lots of women who traded in their unused sunscreen for Botox.
• Stay in shape. This does not mean you have to join EQUINOX.  When you move to LA from a town where you walked or rode your bike everywhere, your body will start to atrophy from all the increased driving.  I gained over 20 lbs the first year we moved here.  I’m still working hard to get back to my fighting weight.  So make sure you run, play tennis, swim, surf, rollerblade, ride your bike, go to the gym, do pilates, yoga, box, or even do situps, pushups, pullups, crunches, etc.  Keep moving, break a sweat and don’t do what I did and get caught up in my creative pursuits, finding paying gigs, and looking for housing.  Temper all those activities with EXERCISE. It will help with stress and keep you feeling good about your appearance, which is valuable currency in LA, especially if you are in front of the camera or audiences.
• Filtered water. Water in LA sucks.  Filter your water so you can actually drink it. Tastes and smells awful, otherwise.  Brita filtered water pitchers are ok as are the removable filters you can slap on your sink.
• Hobbies. Whatever you liked to do in your old city, figure out how to do it in LA. The great thing is the weather usually conspires in your favor.  Stay grounded in who you are, so you don’t get overtaken by the Hollywood experience.
• Drinking. OK. This is tricky.  Take your cue from others when drinking is involved. Lots of people in LA have had substance abuse problems.  It’s probably best not to order a gin and tonic at lunch with a guy in a 12 step program.  I’ve done it, and it’s not a big deal usually, but it’s something I’ve learned.  Those from Chicago, NYC, Seattle and other hard-drinking towns, please be especially aware.

CAREER:

• Watch your back. Hollywood is a town full of ambitious people who will DO ANYTHING TO GET AHEAD.  Even when people are “being nice” they could be actively trying to sabotage you behind the scenes.  This can happen in interviews where someone in the room has a friend applying for your job and will ask you hardball questions or just make snide comments.  There’s not a whole lot you can do but deflect that behavior with supporting statements of your skills and experience.  Take the high road.  Remember, you will often see the same people as you ascend or descend the ladder, so you should always try to leave a situation on a high note and not burn a bridge.  Let someone else make that mistake and look like a jerk.  You just hold yourself high, stay classy, and move on to the next experience.
• Be confident, not arrogant. Let’s face it, LA is a tough town especially right now with so much less opportunity than in past years.  Your quiet confidence, respect, and friendliness will get you more allies than anything else.
• Have a firm handshake. Similar to “be confident.”  If you’re a man and you shake another guy’s hand, make it extra firm. It’s like tofu, the more firm the better, unless it’s rock hard.  Think web-to-web, grip, 1-2 seconds, release. Add eye contact for maximum result.
• Don’t have a big mouth aka talk shit. A lot of folks who move here from out of town were big shots where they came from. When you get to LA, just hit RESET on anything and everything you thought you were or had back home.  You may have put in time in the business elsewhere or went to an IVY League school, but we all start at the BOTTOM here and it takes time.  Don’t think that since you made a short film at Harvard that you are OWED an agent job at CAA. Ain’t gonna happen.
• Know what you’re talking about. Don’t bullshit anything. Why? Because people here can check up on you.  So be careful who you name drop, what credits you claim, and places you’ve worked.  People will call up and see if you’re lying or not.
• Learn when and how to ask for stuff. Read GOOD IN A ROOM by Stephanie Palmer.  Don’t ask people you just met to help you get an agent, get your script read/sold, get you a job, a spot on a comedy showcase, etc.
• Set Goals.  It is easy to get distracted in LA.  No matter what your vocation or dream, set goals by months, quarters, years, etc.  Be realistic, but push yourself too. Many successful people here tell me to think bigger in terms of roles, jobs, gigs, money, skills, reps, your network, etc.
• Listen. I’ll say it again. LISTEN. Find out about others and be a good listener.  Be interested and interesting.  Everyone in LA likes to talk about their experiences. Use that as a way to get to know them, pay attention, and leave them wanting more.  This is also true in meetings.
• Be patient. This is going to take time.  They say an overnight success takes 10 years. Believe it.  If you came to LA to make it in a year, you’re in big trouble.  Set goals, small and large, but realistic ones.  You’ll hit some, and miss on others.  Don’t beat yourself up over where you are in the food chain.  George Clooney started acting in 1978 and got on ER in 1994. That’s 16 years!  Amy Adams moved to LA in 1999 after working as a professional dancer in Minnesota.  Her first year here was brutal. Her breakout role was Junebug, which she did in 2005.  Read Malcom Gladwell’s OUTLIERS.
• Don’t shit talk. It will come back to haunt you in a big way.  People actually don’t want to hear your opinion unless they ask.  Don’t put your foot in your mouth by acting like an ass. People remember that.
• Learn to remain detached from rejection and move on.  This is the hardest part about being a creative professional in LA. No matter where you are on the ladder, you will experience this on a DAILY BASIS. Let me say this again. You will experience this on a DAILY BASIS.  Everyone from Steven Spielberg to “I was the prettiest girl in my midwestern high school” will tell you that.  Remember, most of the time, rejection is a result of you NOT having what THEY want.  It’s not that you’re untalented, ugly, or boring, you just have something that SOMEONE ELSE wants and you haven’t met them yet.  Buck up, rely on your support system, do stuff that makes you feel good and requires no judgement, and you’ll be fine. It’s hard though. Some days you wanna pack it all in, move back home with the parents and work at Kinkos.  Don’t do it.  But, it’s OK to accept how the rejection makes you feel and then move on to the next thing.  It’s almost never about who you are as a person. Examples of rejection range from no contact at all to “Not funny,”  ”I didn’t connect with any of the characters,” or “This script has no structure.” Regardless of whether your script is packed with jokes, has unique characters, and is structured perfectly, some readers will just miss the point.  Readers range from interns (who have never written a script and maybe have read two ever) to VPs of Production/Development who are definitely more savvy and will give you better notes, because they have the experience.  Actors will be rejected just for having the wrong look (too old, too young, too ethnic, too tall, too short, etc.) and nothing else.  Musicians may be rejected for their skill, attitude, look, or age (if you’re over 30, look out).
• Make friends with other people doing what you do. Build a community of people AT YOUR LEVEL. When you have friends at higher levels, they can’t always meet up because they have lots of responsibilities. People below you will annoy the crap out of you, asking for free advice.  Everyone at your level can help you find work and vice versa (you better help those who have helped you).
• Apply for an internship. Right now with the economy, paying jobs are far and few between.  Get an internship right away to establish connections in your field of interest right away.  If you’re not in school, you can sign up for a class somewhere like Santa Monica College to get course credit OR just tell the company you want to work for that you’re fine working for free just to gain experience and learn.
• Cover letters. When applying for jobs, tailor your cover letters to the company. Do your research on movies they’ve made and other artists they rep, etc.
• Get a business card. Your name, what you do, email, and phone.  Don’t put annoying stuff like, MOVIE STAR, COMEDY GENIUS, ROCK STAR, etc.  I’ve seen it. It’s lame. Simple, clean, and expresses your personality.
• Study your craft. Whatever that may be…music, writing, art, dance, acting, comedy, directing, production.  Take classes in LA. You’ll make friends, possibly gain a mentor from your teachers, and you’ll learn how people here approach the work.  Get in the seat, studio, rehearsal space, behind the camera, on set and work out your newly learned techniques.
• Network. It’s not a bad word.  Some people think schmoozing is evil.  Get over it.  It’s how this town works.  Build relationships. Great places to network include: walking your dog, coffee shops, bars, events (SAG, WGA, PGA, DGA, RIAA), screenings/film festivals, the gym, restaurants, clubs, Facebook, LinkedIn, your apartment building, hair salons, etc.
• Cold Call. Learn how to do this effectively. Be able to call up  a record label, agency, production company, comedy club and talk your way into getting a meeting, learning something, or making a contact/ally.  Some of my best contacts were cold calls/email/facebook requests/tweets.
• Stay in touch. Check in with folks periodically to see how they’re doing and let them know what you’re up to.  Facebook is good for this, but a personal email or call is a nice touch.  Oh, and if you don’t hear from people after several weeks, don’t assume they’re blowing you off. People here get very busy with work and get behind on their email.  Rest assured, most people aren’t being dicks, unless they think you’re crazy or bug them a lot.
• Follow Up. A common problem in LA is that you’ll meet someone, hit it off (professionally or socially), and exchange contact information then you never hear from that person again OR you only hear from them when they need something from you. Don’t fall into this trap.  Always follow up with folks you meet. You never know who will be helpful to you in the future or can be a great friend.  The good ones get this.
• Name drop? Also a tricky one.  Sometimes you have to do it to get people to take you seriously, but it’s how you do it that makes it effective.  If someone asks you about your experience, it’s fine, but don’t one-up someone else with a bigger name.  You’ll look like an ass. If that’s what you’re going for, awesome.
• Don’t corner people. Writers, actors, and comedians pay special attention. Newbies to LA will find that one person that will talk to them at a party or bar and corner them to the point that it feels uncomfortable or downright unsafe.
• Don’t be desperate. Desperation smells bad and people here have a sixth sense for it.
• Don’t bug Celebrities/Stars. You’ll see them, but try not to bother them. They’re regular people out getting their shopping done, car detailed, dog groomed, whatever.  I’ve seen some big ones over the years.  I’ve only bothered one, but we were in Austin and I was drunk, like everyone else.  I told a certain actor that I loved his performance in a film that just came out and was huge at the box office.  He was pretty stoned, so I think it wasn’t super scary for him.  Maybe I shouldn’t have physically grabbed him, though.
• For Writers. Try to get into a writing group so you can bounce ideas of others and get used to the notes process.  But, don’t let the process of being in a writing group derail your writing and take every note with a grain of salt. At the end of the day, it’s up to you to know what your script is about and what story you want to tell.  Also, giving notes to others is a tricky thing. People will ask for your opinion, but not really want it. Even after you tell them that you’re brutally honest or don’t pull punches, they’ll still get offended if you stir fry their script, record, stand-up video, reel, or portfolio.
• Dress better. Not fancy, but better. In LA, people wear pristine clothing,  I came from Seattle where all our clothing was dingy and waterlogged.  Don’t look like you’re trying too hard to be LA (please people, no more Criss Angel/Paris Hilton wannabes).  Also, dress for success in your field. Musicians need to have an image, screenwriters are casual but clean, agents wear suits, executives can be somewhere between agents and writers, models look like models, all the time.  You never know who you’re going to meet while you’re walking the dog, getting groceries, at bars, waiting at auditions.  Places to check out: Thrift stores, Ross, Marshall’s, TJ Maxx, Nordstrom Rack, Designer warehouse sales in Pasadena.
• Be careful. People’s cars get broken into, apartments ransacked, mugged on the street, etc.  If you came from a small town where nobody locks their doors, learn to be more vigilant. See if people are tailing you. Don’t flash a lot of cash or bling in bad areas.  Women especially should carry mace and/or learn some self defense.  LA is not scary, though.  We’re only ranked 19th on most dangerous metropolitan areas.  We still have work to do.
• Don’t be late. You do not want to be late when it counts. Remember, it’s ok for others to be late (if they’re higher on the food chain than you).  If you’re early, make sure you have a trade, book, magazine, laptop, or your phone to keep you company.  A common quote here is “15 minutes early is on time, on time is late, and late is fired.”